Usually, traveling up here to The Old Central Park from the abandoned shipping container on Canal St. in which I live only takes two hours. If both of the Midtown ferrybarge crossings are operational and I don’t have to wait in line for the Trebuchet Express Parabolic Being DelivererTM, I can make it up here even faster, and with less soreness, to boot.
Not so today. I boarded the 40th St. Ferrybarge and waited for us to begin the very short hop across the Midtown Rift to 43rd St. We were exactly halfway across when I heard Fish People surfacing on every side of the boat. They held signs and wielded megaphones.
What did they want? Equal rights. When did they want them? Now.
The Ferrybarge was caught right in the middle of the latest Fish People Suffrage rally. Yawn.
Now as you know, the issue of Fish People voting rights is extremely complex. Those who advocate universal suffrage for the Fish People tend to point to our alliance during the war against the Dolphins. Many Fish People served nobly then. Opponents, including those in the administration, point out how delicious Fish People can be when battered and deep-fried.
Usually, I’m in the middle on this one, advocating voting rights for Fish People of only the undelicious species. That’s the fairest solution for the most people/ beings.
But after today I’m ready to fry them all up. A little tip for Fish People protest organizers: don’t block the Ferrybarge route! You’re only alienating those whom you’re trying to persuade to not eat you!
Try not to die,
Nonymous
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